Lord Bludveld

Oh, save us, Lord Bludveld

Arch foe of good

Herald of the Many Mouthed God

Our leaders grow feeble 

It's time for new blood 

And we think you're the chap for the job.

Unemployment is up

Tax revenues down

Our legislature a right shower

So we now seek the king

In Drac Mortef's crown

To appropriate executive power

Your siege of the troll-folk

The rape of Moongate

Has led us to the conclusion:

You slew the bone knight,

You're unlikely to break

When dealing with uppity Unions

We desire a leader,

A man's man who knows

How to kill a guy with his bare hands.

Who quaffs honeyed mead

from the skulls of his foes

When reviewing departmental plans

But first you've a rival

Who you'll have to best

who's running a rival campaign

But his spending's not credible,

Foreign policy? A mess! 

Russia will laugh at a leader called Wayne

So, please Dread Lord Bludveld

Doom of the black dwarves

We'd be honoured if you accepted this crown

You're a statesman, a scholar

And also, of course

You've the monopoly of violence locked down.

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Random daftnesss. Huzzah! Will most likely return and edit the ever loving shit out of this so that it scans better at a later date. Also apologies for being about six years too late to the party in using what is possibly the most parodied image of the 21st century. Also, apologies to anybody named Wayne. Yours is a fine name that just so happened to fit in with the rhyme scheme I was working with

Love and fishes

Dave Denton

Altruistic Bloviation Negation

Just doing an image dump this week as nothing of consequence has happened to me in the outer world while my once rich internal life has shrivelled to the point that it basically consists of me staring slack jawed at the wall and trying to figure out if I'm hungry or merely bored.

Still I did a title page/front cover for that Rag and Bone thing I am always bleating on about. I always feel - for want of a better word - sort of presumptuous making stuff like this, but the deed is done so might as well hoy it on here.

Also, here's another thing that I thingled. I'm not sure I'm 100% happy with it, although the background, even when taking into account the gratuitous use of gaussian blur (a favoured tool of the lazy and the scoundrelous) turned out far better than I thought it would 

Love and Fishes

Dave Denton

Slight Return

Apologies  for the recent inactivity. A combination of ill health, career cul de sacs and general fed uppedness has meant time I should have spent being constructive has instead been spent lying slack jawed on my sofa clad only in my underpants and a filth encrusted t-shirt, the seagulls eyeing me hungrily from their  vantage of a neighbouring rooftop, waiting for hope and then breath to abandon me, so that they can swoop in through my window and feast. It has not escaped my attention that this malaise has coincided, against all mainstream predictions, with the election of a Conservative majority government. It may seem utterly illogical and childishly petulant to blame David Cameron and his disconcertingly hairless face for my own sub par physical and mental well being, but that's what I'm doing.

Preoccupied as I have been with staring at the ceiling and occasionally sighing, I've not been up to whole lot recently. I did manage to drag my mopey arse to the inaugural Wonderlands graphic novel expo last week. The fact that I was stricken with the poorly-ills meant that I couldn't stay long, but I did manage to catch The Guardian's resident cartoonist Steve Bell - who was reassuringly beardy and also is the only other person I've met who holds a pencil the same way as myself - and Dave Gibbons of, among other things, Watchmen fame - who had a few interesting things to say about digital distribution and motion books. Also saw Alice in Sunderland creator Bryan Talbot just hanging around looking very pale and interesting. Fortunately for him I am far too self conscious to approach people so I left him and the other talented individuals present unharrassed. Hopefully, like Sunny Con, this'll become an annual event so I can attend when not in a mental state that sees me weighing up the pros and cons of running into  traffic.

In comparison to the work on display I don't imagine for a second anyone's going to be impressed with my own scribblings, but I've managed to cobble together a few more pages for Rag and Bone. the whole thing in sequence can also be found here, for ease of browsing.

Love and Fishes

Dave Denton