The Ballad of Bruce Wayne

The people of Gotham despaired of Bruce Wayne

But what they never suspected was that

At night he would go and punch crime in the face

And he did it while dressed as a bat.

In a few months as Batman, Wayne had success

Getting the crime rate right down

Until a guy called the Joker startedmessing things up

And he did it while dressed as a clown.

The Joker was hired to kill our friend, Bats

At the behest of some dudes in the mob.

For crime was tired of being thumped in the mouth

Every time they went out on the rob.

They first fought one night during a soiree

And some poor buggers car got all bent.

Things then got worse! A hospital blew up!

Then Joker did a number on Dent

Bat finaly collared Joker one night

When trying to blow up some boats

The clown hit the bat in the face with a pipe

'I've beat you, you pansy' he boasts

But bats isn't beaten, he throws the crook off

And show him that crime doesn't pay

And Joker falls down, to certain death

And he did it while laughing away

But Batman lassoed him, before he went splat

And clown prince of crime hung there smiling

This joke's not funny, Batman decides,

So he hoyed the sod in Arkham Asylum

The people of Gotham still despair of Bruce Wayne,

They wish he would do something right

This is because they are kept in the dark

That Bruce Wayne is Gotham's Dark Night

The above was written as an attempt to teach a class of thirteen years olds about the ballad format of poetry, with various stanza's containing inciting incidents, rising action etc. etc. You probably didn't cotton on to this, but the plot is cribbed from Christopher Nolan's little known indie hit The Dark Night. I could tell by the faces of the children that they all thought I was a super cool guy, with great hair, who probably owns a kantana and is the best at swimming. Unfortunately I later decided that teaching is not for me, mainly as I cannot speak in front of a large group of people - even when those people are in a pupal state - without my voice rising three octaves and sweating profusely. Ho hum. The academic sector's loss is the soul crushing customer service industry's gain.

More recently the Alice in Sunderland project inches along, latest effort below:

For the remainder of this week I have been shaking my head in wearied horror at the shenanigans around the Labour leadershp election, trying to halt the decline in my physical state by lifting heavy things up and down and spendingmy valuable alone time pretending to be a cowboy complete with spit bucket and assless chaps.

Love and Fishes

Dave Denton

Whist Lads, Haad Yer Gobs

Another image for the Alice in Sunderland themed Zoetrope thing that I'm working on. I'm currently with struggling with how to get the bastard zoetrope thing to turn, however it has now occurred to me that I don't have to. All I need to do is get anyone observing it to run around the stationary images at a fast enough speed of 24 frames per second. This one conflating the Carrol poem Jabberwocky, with the North Eastern folk ballad The Lanbton Worm. For the record I'm far from being the first person in the world to make this link, so it's not like I'm just pullling it out me arse. The structure in the image is not the Acropolis but Penshaw monument, a Victorian folly that sits on a hill near Washington that the worm is meant to have wrapped itself around. Like all follies, the monument has never fulfilled any actual function beyond looking vaguely impressive and acting as a geographical point of reference when your a bit discombobulated. As I write this it occurs that I've never actually been up to see it, which I really should rectify at some point.

Spent yesterday building sandcastles on the beach. It should be noted at this point that I do not have or am in any way associated with any young children. The whole thing was done at the behest of my thirty something girlfriend, whose enthusiams for the whole thing didn't stop her insisting that I go on her behalf to purchase a (Mr Man themed) bucket and spade. Joke's on her though as my sandcastle was blatantly better than hers, mainly thanks to clever use of my Little Miss Sunshine sand rake to form a drawbridge. Scintillating stuff.

Love and Fishes

Dave Denton

 

Wuh Aall a Lirrel Mad Round Here

I'm currently working on an Alice in Wonderland themed zoetrope, because that is what Jesus would want me to do. Actually its more to do with the 150th anniversary of the books for which local big wigs have asked for submissions in any artistic medium around the theme of Alice in... wait for it... Sunderland. My thinking is that a zoetrope (it's an early animation thingamajig. You'd know one if you saw one) is a more interesting submission than just a picture of the of the mad hatter and march hare, blaked on Frosty Jack and screaming at seagulls. Also it's a fun word to say.

As I've mentioned before the North East has numerous connections to the artist formerly known as Dobson's Victorian masterpiece. Most of these links are highly tangential. In the case of Bryan Talbot's graphic novel Alice in Sunderland that's kinda the point - that everything is connected to everything else and that every community has a wealth of culture and history, often of national or even global significance, if you care to look for it. The local authority appear to have taken this as a starting point and ran with it, leading to the slightly eyebrow raising implication that Carroll's book has the same sort of relationship with the North East as the works of the Bronte's have with Yorkshire or Hardy's to the West Country. Which is bollocks, but understandable given that Wonderland is one of the biggest literary brands this side of Narnia,

The below are works in progress intended to go on the outside of the device, with the inside showing a short animation of Alice falling down the rabbit hole. In case you're wondering, I''ve sacked off the traditional appearance of Alice with blonde hair and blue dress as i wanted to have the city colours of red, white and black prominent and also because I figured she'd be easier to animate in keks. If you're unfamiliar with Sunderland landmarks such as Roker pier and Wearmouth bridge, let me assure you that I've got them spot on and you should be well impressed.

Love and Fishes

Dave Denton